Just Like You

“When I grow up, SGT Cliff, I want to be just like you.” The stocky southern man gave me a full toothed grin when I said that to him as he left to return back to his infantry unit. SGT Cliff had been visiting me every time his unit passed through since he made the introduction of his Roman Catholic chaplain to me. Cliff proudly stated that he served as a Protestant minister to his men. He told me that he was Southern Baptist. "You have my condolences." I said with a smile. Always earnest and warm, I could see how Cliff’s unaffected down-home style could put anyone at ease. He showed me pictures of the church picnic in GA. The “church” was all present in the photograph—not more than a dozen or so! SGT Cliff by body type and just plain friendliness exudes a manner which inspires confidence. It was easy to be a little envious of his gifts. And it was natural for me to say that when I grow up I want to be like him.

I didn’t realize how much more my words meant when SGT Cliff came through again for a visit. As we sat and talked, before me was a more saddened and weary person than I had known up to now. SGT Cliff explained that the unit had lost several men as they continued to make pushes near Ramadi. And from what he knew, the mission was to continue indefinitely. He blessed me with his uncertainty, confusion and tears. This is a “man in full” who is worthy of emulating. “How can I minister to these men when I have so many doubts?!” he asks. I reply that it is OK to share those doubts and fears and in sharing them, his men will be encouraged. He asked me to pray with him. As he left he gave me a bear hug and left with a smile.

The military is so full of doers that vulnerability is time consuming. I am sure that there are units where the macho thing goes on and vulnerability is equated with weakness. Here was a man who was not afraid of an enemy and who care immeasurably for his troops. Nor was SGT Cliff afraid of his own vulnerability. I think that he may have befriended it a long time ago and had come to realize that on the other side of his vulnerability, with the grace of God, lie growth.

Weeks before I left for Baghdad, it had been a while since I had seen or heard from SGT Cliff. I asked members of his unit as they passed through to send my regards. They said that he was doing well. Part of me has a fear that I will open the Stars and Stripes and see his face among the fallen. I pray not. I pray that he continues to be an inspiration and friend in Christ to his men. I pray that he gets to go back to many more church picnics.