Not Toy Soldiers
In the early afternoon of 9 November a squad from the 410th MP company was on patrol in their humvees along Route Vernon at the overpass of Route Irish when an Explosively Formed Projectile tore through the first vehicle in the convoy. Apparently the insurgents took advantage of the fact that this was the only in and out of sector. The projectile came through the passenger’s side and was catastrophic. Those in the vehicle behind couldn’t see through the smoke, but notice on the ground near them PFC Howard Zachary, the gunner who was blown out of the turret. The turret and gunner separated in the air. Members of Stryker unit came and supplied force protection as medics tended to the broken bodies of SGT Gregory McCoy and SPC Courtland Kennard.
I wasn’t aware of what had happened until I return from an office visit at personnel affairs to have my ID card updated. SGT James had gone ahead to the Combat Surgical Hospital (CSH) to follow up on the survivor and help support the unit in its crisis. I stayed behind and called to find out when other soldiers from the unit would be returning so I could be present if they wished to talk. SGT James returned a bit earlier than what I expected and we proceeded to Camp Stryker.
No sooner than we had arrived, CPT Whittenberger, Commander of the 410th MP Company “Bravo Spirit” arrived. CPT W, a broad and somewhat stoic man accepted as I offered my condolences. We met and sat with a young LT and SFC who were part of the convoy that underwent the attack. They were emotionally bruised and saddened. CPT W. advice to them was to stay inside the wire and take care of them selves a while. He stated that all the soldiers would handle the loss differently. One thing he said that struck me as genuine was “I don’t believe in toy soldiers.” I took this to mean that he values soldiers as individuals and this loss was very real to him. I later discovered that at one time he was an enlisted soldier in Field Artillery (Cannon Crewmember), was given an Honorable Discharge, went to college where he earned a BS, and is now completing a Master’s degree.
We had the company members gather in the chapel after dinner so to formally announce the loss and talk about what would happen next. I briefly offered my sympathies and explained that I was there to help them through this time of grief. I told them that one thing that I believe is helpful is to gather as friends and informally share the stories that might not be told publicly, so that they won’t feel “short changed” at the formal memorial ceremony. As the soldiers were ushering out, a tall SPC asked to speak to me alone. He stated that this loss reminded him how much he had strayed and that he felt that he was in danger of losing his faith. Part of what I was able to understand was that he was raised in fundamentalist environment that made him feel guilty for not believing the way his family did. He saw much evil in the world. We talked about different ideas of what faith is. I tried to lighten his load as best as I could. I walked out into the night. Melancholy and weariness were about me. The next morning I told myself that I was definitely ready to go home for a while.
My memorial message for SSG Gregory McCoy and SGT Kennard (promoted posthumously):
Grace and peace to you my fellow soldiers and friends. As we take time to honor and remember SSG Gregory W. McCoy and SGT Courtland A. Kennard, I hope that you know that you are not alone in your grief and that the prayers of fellow enlisted, officers, friends and family are with you here in this very place. They are offered fervently and with great care that you may find solace and strength in the midst of this tragedy. As far as I am concerned, all soldiers lives are spiritual quests—some parts more difficult than others. SSG McCoy’s and SGT Kennard’s quests have ended, but yours members of the 410th continues.
The other night when I visited with you, I repeated what your commander CTP Whittenberger had said, “That everyone will react in their own way to this loss.” Some will be brokenhearted, others will be angry and some will feel numb or somehow unconnected to this loss. Others of you will simply be relieved that it wasn’t you. All of us have been created uniquely and each of us have different life experiences to help us cope with what you face. You have full permission to go through this in your way, but for your own sake and the sake of those around you, don’t go it alone. There is no need to. You have put so much work into bonding with each other as a unit. Stay connected with each other and walk forward as best as you know how.
When asked what scripture would be meaningful for you to hear at this ceremony, the friends of SSG McCoy and SGT Kennard chose the 23rd Psalm. Some of you may know it very well while others of you may have heard it only once or twice. In the 23rd Psalm, which SPC Nicholas read for us, the psalmist gives us the image of God as a shepherd—someone who guards, tends, and guides. In the face of how fearful our existence can sometimes be, the image of the good shepherd is most comforting. The fears that we all face at one point or another is the Valley of the Shadow of Death. You as soldiers of the 410th and countless others do not need to be told that what you face day in and day out is being in the Valley of the Shadow of Death. You deal with mortality regularly. Your courage is seen every day as you put on your boots, body armor and kevlars go out there and face what there is to face.
I believe that Harold Kushner, rabbi and author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People, is right when he says that the idea that we are going to die one day is NOT what scares us. It is the anticipation of death, the sense that our time is limited that gives us fear. It is death’s shadow, not death itself that is fearful. Out of all creatures, we are the only ones that know that there will be a day when we will not be here. Frightening, but when we consider it closely, we can frame our minds and ask ourselves about how we choose to use this time.
No one can take away your memories of the good that SSG McCoy and SGT Kennard did. No one can take away the effect of their identity, their values, their sense of humor. No one can take away their service and commitment in the face of dicey prospects. No one can take away the honor that they placed in the uniform. No one can take away the sense of camaraderie or even the frustrations that you had with one another. These belong to SSG McCoy and SGT Kennard and to you all forever and death has no power over it.
One thing we may feel is that God isn’t with us in the darkness of the valley. But, the psalmist speaks of drawing comfort from God’s presence and his rod and staff. I believe most, if anything, we more often struggle with the absence of God. It is OK to ask “Where are you Lord when I most need you?” “Show your face, lend me your rod and staff that I might not walk without something to protect me and something to lean on.” If this God is worth anything, he must be a God big enough to handle our doubts, fears, tears, grief, anger and our feelings of being orphaned. He must equip us somehow to face the valley. Otherwise, he would not be a good shepherd at all. He would be neglectful of his creation and our efforts to make meaning out our lives—the good and the tragic—would be in vain.
One last thing I need to share with you is the depth to which CPT Whittenberger took this loss. I have seen his grief. He has shown great concern for you all. I have seen the dignity with which he has sought to bring to all the details surrounding this tragedy. This is true of all the leaders of the 410th that I have met.
Friends, find hope in whatever good SSG McCoy and SGT Kennard were and did. Determine what good you want to pass on in this life and do it. Don’t put it off for tomorrow. Tell the ones you love that you love them. Put your heart on the line. For today is a gift and tomorrow is not promised to us. Amen
Please stand with me in silent tribute to SSG Gregory McCoy and SGT Courtland Kennard.
----SILENCE----
Lord, we thank you for the life SSG Gregory McCoy and the life of SGT Courtland Kennard of and we lift up all that they were to your mercies. Amen.
A couple days later, I once again saw the 410th. There spirits were high as the unit and CPT Whittenberger was being honored in Change of Command Ceremony where I delivered the invocation. There is something about the resiliency and camaraderie of soldiers that is truly amazing. There were smiles and laughter as they were standing tall in a magnificently bright Iraqi morning with a cool breeze that lifted their guidon and brought life to Old Glory. I can only pray that my part has been sufficient for these men and women as I begin to leave this place. There is so much that I will never forget.
I wasn’t aware of what had happened until I return from an office visit at personnel affairs to have my ID card updated. SGT James had gone ahead to the Combat Surgical Hospital (CSH) to follow up on the survivor and help support the unit in its crisis. I stayed behind and called to find out when other soldiers from the unit would be returning so I could be present if they wished to talk. SGT James returned a bit earlier than what I expected and we proceeded to Camp Stryker.
No sooner than we had arrived, CPT Whittenberger, Commander of the 410th MP Company “Bravo Spirit” arrived. CPT W, a broad and somewhat stoic man accepted as I offered my condolences. We met and sat with a young LT and SFC who were part of the convoy that underwent the attack. They were emotionally bruised and saddened. CPT W. advice to them was to stay inside the wire and take care of them selves a while. He stated that all the soldiers would handle the loss differently. One thing he said that struck me as genuine was “I don’t believe in toy soldiers.” I took this to mean that he values soldiers as individuals and this loss was very real to him. I later discovered that at one time he was an enlisted soldier in Field Artillery (Cannon Crewmember), was given an Honorable Discharge, went to college where he earned a BS, and is now completing a Master’s degree.
We had the company members gather in the chapel after dinner so to formally announce the loss and talk about what would happen next. I briefly offered my sympathies and explained that I was there to help them through this time of grief. I told them that one thing that I believe is helpful is to gather as friends and informally share the stories that might not be told publicly, so that they won’t feel “short changed” at the formal memorial ceremony. As the soldiers were ushering out, a tall SPC asked to speak to me alone. He stated that this loss reminded him how much he had strayed and that he felt that he was in danger of losing his faith. Part of what I was able to understand was that he was raised in fundamentalist environment that made him feel guilty for not believing the way his family did. He saw much evil in the world. We talked about different ideas of what faith is. I tried to lighten his load as best as I could. I walked out into the night. Melancholy and weariness were about me. The next morning I told myself that I was definitely ready to go home for a while.
My memorial message for SSG Gregory McCoy and SGT Kennard (promoted posthumously):
Grace and peace to you my fellow soldiers and friends. As we take time to honor and remember SSG Gregory W. McCoy and SGT Courtland A. Kennard, I hope that you know that you are not alone in your grief and that the prayers of fellow enlisted, officers, friends and family are with you here in this very place. They are offered fervently and with great care that you may find solace and strength in the midst of this tragedy. As far as I am concerned, all soldiers lives are spiritual quests—some parts more difficult than others. SSG McCoy’s and SGT Kennard’s quests have ended, but yours members of the 410th continues.
The other night when I visited with you, I repeated what your commander CTP Whittenberger had said, “That everyone will react in their own way to this loss.” Some will be brokenhearted, others will be angry and some will feel numb or somehow unconnected to this loss. Others of you will simply be relieved that it wasn’t you. All of us have been created uniquely and each of us have different life experiences to help us cope with what you face. You have full permission to go through this in your way, but for your own sake and the sake of those around you, don’t go it alone. There is no need to. You have put so much work into bonding with each other as a unit. Stay connected with each other and walk forward as best as you know how.
When asked what scripture would be meaningful for you to hear at this ceremony, the friends of SSG McCoy and SGT Kennard chose the 23rd Psalm. Some of you may know it very well while others of you may have heard it only once or twice. In the 23rd Psalm, which SPC Nicholas read for us, the psalmist gives us the image of God as a shepherd—someone who guards, tends, and guides. In the face of how fearful our existence can sometimes be, the image of the good shepherd is most comforting. The fears that we all face at one point or another is the Valley of the Shadow of Death. You as soldiers of the 410th and countless others do not need to be told that what you face day in and day out is being in the Valley of the Shadow of Death. You deal with mortality regularly. Your courage is seen every day as you put on your boots, body armor and kevlars go out there and face what there is to face.
I believe that Harold Kushner, rabbi and author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People, is right when he says that the idea that we are going to die one day is NOT what scares us. It is the anticipation of death, the sense that our time is limited that gives us fear. It is death’s shadow, not death itself that is fearful. Out of all creatures, we are the only ones that know that there will be a day when we will not be here. Frightening, but when we consider it closely, we can frame our minds and ask ourselves about how we choose to use this time.
No one can take away your memories of the good that SSG McCoy and SGT Kennard did. No one can take away the effect of their identity, their values, their sense of humor. No one can take away their service and commitment in the face of dicey prospects. No one can take away the honor that they placed in the uniform. No one can take away the sense of camaraderie or even the frustrations that you had with one another. These belong to SSG McCoy and SGT Kennard and to you all forever and death has no power over it.
One thing we may feel is that God isn’t with us in the darkness of the valley. But, the psalmist speaks of drawing comfort from God’s presence and his rod and staff. I believe most, if anything, we more often struggle with the absence of God. It is OK to ask “Where are you Lord when I most need you?” “Show your face, lend me your rod and staff that I might not walk without something to protect me and something to lean on.” If this God is worth anything, he must be a God big enough to handle our doubts, fears, tears, grief, anger and our feelings of being orphaned. He must equip us somehow to face the valley. Otherwise, he would not be a good shepherd at all. He would be neglectful of his creation and our efforts to make meaning out our lives—the good and the tragic—would be in vain.
One last thing I need to share with you is the depth to which CPT Whittenberger took this loss. I have seen his grief. He has shown great concern for you all. I have seen the dignity with which he has sought to bring to all the details surrounding this tragedy. This is true of all the leaders of the 410th that I have met.
Friends, find hope in whatever good SSG McCoy and SGT Kennard were and did. Determine what good you want to pass on in this life and do it. Don’t put it off for tomorrow. Tell the ones you love that you love them. Put your heart on the line. For today is a gift and tomorrow is not promised to us. Amen
Please stand with me in silent tribute to SSG Gregory McCoy and SGT Courtland Kennard.
----SILENCE----
Lord, we thank you for the life SSG Gregory McCoy and the life of SGT Courtland Kennard of and we lift up all that they were to your mercies. Amen.
A couple days later, I once again saw the 410th. There spirits were high as the unit and CPT Whittenberger was being honored in Change of Command Ceremony where I delivered the invocation. There is something about the resiliency and camaraderie of soldiers that is truly amazing. There were smiles and laughter as they were standing tall in a magnificently bright Iraqi morning with a cool breeze that lifted their guidon and brought life to Old Glory. I can only pray that my part has been sufficient for these men and women as I begin to leave this place. There is so much that I will never forget.
posted by Chaplain (CPT) Fokas at 12:29 PM
